Brrr

Dear China,

I love you. Really, I do. Our love affair has been going on for the better part of a year and I’m afraid if I don’t get this off my chest, well, we may just have to take a break.

You see, I’m cold. Really, really, cold. Those summer days we spent together were truly wonderful. Why can’t we hold on to that heat? Why must you submerge me into cold nothingness? Did I take advantage of you? Did I give you the cold shoulder and forced you to turn the heat off completely?

Or perhaps you are just trying to give me a lesson. I get it. Your lack of central heating is one way or another saving the world from Global Warming. Along with the non-existent diapers you are really saving the world from completely cooking itself into oblivion. Yes everything you do has some effect on the world whether you know it or not... But there are other ways to save on energy! Maybe you could try recycling? Or perhaps stop using gas that potentially has cyanide in it. Or another option would be to stop triple-wrapping everything from cookies to bananas? I get it, packaging is fun but wouldn’t you want to be warm instead?

It takes me longer to walk to school now – heavy with layers and skin prickling with the promise of frost-bite. Yes I do get that wonderful rosy-cheeked ‘je ne sais quoi’ look that’s all the rage now with the kids, but common! I can’t be cute when I’ve got a drippy nose now can I? And I’m pretty sure the teachers aren’t calling me cute when they point at my chopstick skills which have gone down the drain since my fingers are frozen stiff, and holding onto anything small requires the concentration of a magician (incl. chalk!).

Going to the grocery store is becoming a danger to my health. I need to wear two sets of gloves if I decide to pick up any fruit for fear of instant frost-bite. Even the clerks are doing jumping jacks in the aisles to keep warm. It’s not fair China – We get it: You’re cold.

Oh China. I love you like Canada loves snow but you have to believe me when I say that this No-Heat business you are running here is just keeping you behind in the ages. I have decided that I won’t let you hold me back any longer. Enough with the bum facials when I pee in the Turkish toilets at school, or the potential frost-bite on my behind if I sit on a regular toilet. Enough with the triple layers of clothing. Enough with the permanent frozen fingers and toes.

Enough enough enough!



But let’s stay friends.


Noemie xx